Dear FbN: Can I Get and Keep a Man with Natural Hair?

Us at Fierce by Nature want to hear from our readers.  We welcome emails with any questions, comments, or stories you want to share about your natural hair journeys.  Today, we will share an email we received from Tracy who wants to know if it's possible to get/keep a man with natural hair.

Dear FbN:

As you begin your blog, I want to go ahead and put this out there and state what I consider to be the single transitioning girls biggest concern: "Am I gonna be able to get a man with natural hair?"

I ask that those women who 1. may already be natural, 2. have a man supporting their quest already, or 3. don't care what others think of them in any aspect of life, not to judge and write this off as a shallow question that we need to "get over". This is a valid concern many women have because of the pressures that have been put on us to look a certain way. We have been programmed to think that guys like hair they can "run their fingers through"; the kind that blows with the wind! First, let's be reminded this is not just an issue Black women face. Women of all races and in other countries around the world hold stock in having straight and silky hair. Countless commercials and products make women of all races feel their natural curl is not beautiful and luxurious. Sarah Jessica Parker even forgoes the natural curl all of us SATC lovers know she has, to advertise hair care products with a silky straight mane. I say all of that to say that the pressure is even greater than some may think. Many women across the board just don't embrace their natural curl and will spend tons of money, time, and energy to cover up what's naturally there. 

So, do men really care about a women's hair as much as we think they do? Well, I can say the one word answer to that is NO...BUT many men do care about the way the woman handles the hair. What's her attitude?  Is she still seen as graceful and regal? Does she look well kept? (yea, I said it, because there are some ignorant men and women that associate some natural styles with not caring about appearance). I had to begin to ask myself "do I want a man who can't see me in my natural state as being beautiful?" No! We all deserve a man that will be our greatest encourager in this quest. Now don't get me wrong, we all gotta "keep it tight" and look fierce at all times! I'm just saying we must redefine what that means and realize that many real men out there love us as a whole being, natural hair and all. 

Tracy

What do you think Readers of FbN?  Is it possible to get and keep a man with natural hair?  We have our opinions (which we will share in the comments section) but we want to hear from you.

Can I Live

Question. How do you keep it sexy and keep your hair on point at the same time?

I've decided to Co-Wash  and style on Sundays and I choose to let the style air dry. So today I'm at the crib with the boo and I get the "you've had that head wrap on all day." Uh. What do you want me to say sir. It's either walk around with my satin cap on or rock my braids and rods looking like Ceily. I thought I was giving you the better of the two. I will sacrifice a day of satin cap for a week of fierceness.

So what are other ladies doing? Do other women get similar comments from men? I considered getting a Meagan Good wig for nights when I do overnight styling but then my hair will never dry. But men cant be that stupid can they? I mean I cant hop up out the bed looking as fly as I do without a head wrap. But then again, Bey said Jay wants her to be on point to handle her biz in the bathroom. So maybe this just comes with the territory.