Ugh

So last night I spent 2 hours working on my hair. It was my first attempt at using the curlformers. They were a bit frustrating to put in, but I got the hang of it about 30 minutes in. My back ached, and feet were in serious need of a rub when I finished. I just knew my hair was gonna be fly so I didn't complain. Low and behold, I woke up to a monsoon this morning. The curls fell immediately, and dare I say it, I had a bad hair day. This was probably the first time that I was not satisfied with my hair all day long. I made it work by pinning it up. My coworker gave compliments. She said it looked like I got a relaxer. *Kanye Shrug*

I don't have the nerve to post an after pic. :( maybe next week.

I plan to pin curl tonight to salvage my hair. If that doesn't work, back to the handy dandy braid out.

Silky Milk

Kim over at naturally_psyched has managed to stretch her twist out for 7 days. Yeah I know, pretty impressive. She swears that a product Silky Milk by Straight Request made it all possible. I just so happen to in the market for a good setting lotion. So I tried to research the product. It is pretty hard to find. Not much comes up on google about it. I have to give it the side eye at a glance because it is marketed with black hair care products. I love to support my people, but most of the products targeted for blacks have ALL of the ingredients that naturals have been told to stay away from. I can not find an ingredient list for this product anywhere. Has anyone heard yea or nay about product?

Maybe Kim will grace us with some answers.

Dilemma

I think I need a trim......well I want a trim. My hair has not been professionally done since October 09. I had my mom do a quickie trim in December. I trust my kitchen beautician, but I just want to make sure I don't have ends splitting up to the white meat. The problem is that I do not want heat on my hair. And to my understanding most naturals get blown out to trim. No? I need suggestions about to how to get my trim in February.

A friend suggested getting a roller set at the hair salon and then allowing my stylist to trim from there. I don't even think my salon does roller sets. I have been going there for over 2 years and have NEVER seen anyone sitting under the dryer with rollers. The dryers serve only to deep condition, pre-dry, and dry lace fronts.

I think I just had a light bulb moment though. Maybe I can set my own hair on curlformers and the go to a great clips or where have you and let them trim it. Since the formers will stretch my hair without heat and allow a comb to get through. Thoughts?

Dear FbN: What's your regimen?

A transitioning curly was interested in the regimens of the FbN contributors. Here goes:

Sunday afternoon:

• divide hair into four sections
• I deep condition with Aubrey Organics - Honeysuckle Rose Conditioner  on dry hair for 30 mins to 1 hour
• co wash and detangle with HEHH
• take down one section
• spray with Infusium-23 (Moistur)ologie Leave-In /Glycerine /water mix and sometimes DevaCurl Set It Free, or HE Totally Twisted Mousse
• do about 4 finger parted plaits
• curl the ends of the plaits on rods
• continue until all four sections are finished
• let air dry if time permits (sometimes an hour under the hooded dryer to speed up the process)

Monday morning:

• oil scalp with Jojoba Oil
• moisturize each plait with Oyin burnt sugar pomade
• unravel and fluff each plait

Wednesday night:

• grab a small section of hair and plait
• continue until whole head is plaited randomly
• spray a plait with Infusium 23/glycerine/water mix and sometimes DevaCurl set it free, or HE totally twisted mousse.
• curl the end of the plait with a rod
• continue until all plaits are damp and have rods on the ends

Thursday morning:

• oil scalp with Jojoba oil
• moisturize each plait with Oyin burnt sugar pomade
• unravel and fluff each plait

I may be purchasing a set of curlformers this weekend. If so, I will replace the Sunday braid out with a set of curls.

Readers, we are also interested in your regimen. Please share.

Dear FbN: Redefining Beautiful

FbN,

I have a ton of emotions rushing in right now as we speak.  I just finished taking down my first real braidout (my own attempt at a two strand twist went horribly wrong a month ago)...I got it done professionally (call me lazy). I was highly anticipating the style in the days leading up to my appointment; I couldn't wait to officially start my two weeks no heat regimen (I need a nice roller set for my bday in 2 weeks!).  I took it out, and bam...before my eyes, there it was in all its glory...my "big hair"...it was all those adjectives ladies use to describe their hair in its natural state: kinky, curly, thick, to name a few.  I had to face it.  No longer was I hiding behind side swept bangs and longer hair framing my face...I now had to face it all...I had to face ME...I didn't realize what his moment was going to be like.  I didn't realize I was going to have to come to know and love my features in a whole new way.  Embrace my lips, my eyes, my cheeks and nose.  All that makes me the beautiful woman God created me to be is no longer hidden.  Then fear began to set in..."what are my coworkers going to think?", "how many *side eyes* will I get?", "does this look right on me?".  The first thing I wanted to do was complain: "its too 'big'", "its too frizzy", "its too short"...then I had to pause, take a second look, put on a smile, and realize, it was cute.  It was different. It was me...

 

I have to redefine what beautiful is.  All my life, beautiful has been, straight, long, and flowing...movement.  My hair had begun to take me on an emotional roller coaster even before I started this natural journey.  It had begun to break off and was much shorter and thinner than it use to be.  I started to lose confidence then too, but this is difference.  This is a chance to gain a new confidence.  A confidence in what I decide is beautiful!    I think that whatever I rock with grace, and class, and a confidence knowing that it suits me and who I am, is now beautiful, no matter what anyone else says.  We all have a right to decide for ourselves what beautiful is and as I go on this journey finding me, I am learning that.  I'm not there yet, but today was my first step in the right direction...

Dear FbN: Can rinse out conditioners be used as a leave in?

FbN,

Can you explain how you use HE HH as a leave-in? I am finding it hard to wrap my mind around using a "normal" co as a leave-in, but I been reading CN and it seems to be a normal thing to do. But how much? You do it with your hair wet or dry?


FbN found sources that state information supporting the fact that rinse out conditioners can in fact be used as a leave in on wet hair.



The beauty brains:

Rinse out conditioners are typically made with heavier ingredients (and they generally conditioner better) because they contain a combination of “fatty” chemicals and high molecular weight silicones.


You don’t usually find these ingredients in leave in conditioners because they weigh the hair down too much.

Now, if you have hair that’s really thirsty for conditioning, all bets are off. And while most leave ins don’t make very good rinse out products (because they’re not designed to stay on the hair after rinsing), many rinse outs could work well as a leave in.

Rinse out and Leave in products are formulated to have different functionality, but they can overlap.

Over at the Naturally Curly Forums a member recalls her experience:

since most of CGs need that moisture, many of us use our regular rinse out conditioners as leave in. How much you need depends on your individual hair needs, but I can't remember the last time I used an actual "leave in" conditioner. I just use a smaller amount of my regular conditioner to leave in, and it works much better for me.

What do the readers of FbN think? What were your results when using a rinse out conditioner as a leave in?

Hair-perimentations: Dry Braid and Curl

I'm back on another no-heat challenge and hoping to last until my birthday in February.  Although some frown upon straightening, I like having the ability to switch it up and have the right to treat myself for special occasions.  It also allows me an opportunity to get my ends trimmed.  During my last 'challenge', I pretty much stuck to the same routine of co-washing twice a week on Sundays and Thursdays and setting my hair using Curlformers.  Anyone who is not a believer in Curlformers, please believe, they are great and I will not be told otherwise.  During this challenge, I want to try out other no heat required styles.  I was inspired by Curly Nikki and Miss G to try the dry braid out.

To achieve this look, I first co-washed with Organix Coconut Milk and used Herbal Essence Hello Hydration as my leave-in.  Using a solution of 1/2 Lottabody and 1/2 water, I did about 12 braids (plaits) throughout my hair, 4 in the back and 4 on each side.  I rolled the ends with 1/2 inch rollers and dried overnight.  I wore this style for the next day but wasn't exactly pleased with the results so couldn't wait to try the dry-braid.  Before attempting the dry-braid, I used a wide tooth comb to gently comb out my curls.  I was scared at first to do this for fear that I'd see a lot of hair come out, but surprisingly there wasn't much shedding beyond a typical styling session.  I then started to fingerpart my hair, apply a bit of shea butter to the ends and braid.  After finishing each braid, I was able to spray with my Lottabody solution and roll the ends with a 1'' satin covered sponge roller.  I ended up with 9 total braids. Since my roots had already been stretched, I didn't need to have as many braids and this time I wanted my waves to be wider.  The next morning, I removed the rollers, unbraided, and fluffed. 

Dry Braid Out

Unlike the wet braiding, I was quite pleased with my results.  The curls looked more natural, my hair was 'bigger', and I loved the effect of the rollers on the ends.  I will probably use this method to stretch out my co-washes to once a week since I'm back traveling now and after first setting with Curlformers.  The boo even commented that he liked the results from this better than braiding wet because it was more curly and less crinkly.  I love his honesty!

Hair Idols: Corinne Bailey Rae

Simply Fabulous!

You Betta Work

I loves me some Trey....but her hair steals the show here.

Are You Happy With Nappy?

I do not like the word "nappy". To me it is the equivalent of NIGGA. Don't do it.

I feel like people use that word for lack of any other way to describe black hair. Yes, I am black. Is my hair nappy, no. I mean it just sounds bad. It is definitely meant in a derogatory way. Have you ever heard someone use it as a compliment? I haven't either. Other naturals who say they are "happy nappy" get on my nerves too. That's like saying to the world, yeah my hair is ugly and not the norm, but I like it this way. I prefer the terms, kinky, thick or course. And to make matters worse, this is what Dictionary.com has to say:

Word Origin & History

nappy (adj.)

"downy," 1499, from nap (n.). Meaning "fuzzy, kinky," used in colloquial or derogatory ref. to the hair of black people, is from 1950.

Does the word bother you?

Just for Me...devil in disguise

How many of us remember this commercial?



I don't know about y'all, but I would jam every time this commercial came on.  Remember how they used to include a tape in the relaxer kit so you could sing along (it may have also included instructions to follow along..who knows) ?  Now that I think back, it's amazing how this product was targeted directly to little black girls.  Think about how many girls ran to their mommies, like 'Mom, can I please have a Just for Me so my hair can have style, body and shine.  A look that's totally all mine?'  I'm not even goin' front like that wasn't me.

Since being relaxer-free and even before, I've asked my mom why did she first put in that creamy crack into my head.  Her answer has always been "You know, i'm not really sure.  You didn't really need it, your hair was always pretty manageable." followed by the *kanye shrug*  Over the holidays, I was looking at some old pictures (which I wish I'd snatched so I could scan and show you) and I asked my mom about some of her old styling techniques.  There was one picture where I thought for sure she'd done a good press and she's like, "Nope, just washed, dried and styled"...Again I asked why did I get a relaxer.  She must have sensed my slight bitterness because she told me that many other girls my age had relaxers at like 5 but I didn't get one until I was 9 or 11 and I was pretty much asking for one.

I blame Just for Me.  They had these fancy commercials with the kids singing.  I didn't jump on the Jheri curl wagon...wait, did anybody?  Anywho, Jheri curls never had kids in their commercials (not that I can remember anyway).  Interesting enough, while surfing the net to find the Just for Me commercial or background about the product, I stumbled upon this article written by a white woman who is raising a black daughter. She seemed bothered that the company who sells Just for Me, also makes a Texture Softener product that has been marketed to parents of mixed race or ethnic children as a way to soften their hair and an alternative to relaxing.  It's interesting that this woman seemed more bothered by the idea of using chemicals to alter the texture than many of us African American women are.

I say all this to say that it is up to parents to promote healthy hair at an early age, even if the kids are falling victim to the persuasion of all the things that they see in the media.  I don't plan to relax my future daughter's hair.  I want her to be able to get to an age where she is capable to make her own hair decisions and be able to take care of it herself.  I will not have her hang that over my head.  She will not give me the *side eye* that I sometimes give my mom.  Love ya mom!

Do any of you have any similar stories?  Do you remember your first relaxer?  How old were you and why did you succumb to the creamy crack.

Dear FbN: Can I Get and Keep a Man with Natural Hair?

Us at Fierce by Nature want to hear from our readers.  We welcome emails with any questions, comments, or stories you want to share about your natural hair journeys.  Today, we will share an email we received from Tracy who wants to know if it's possible to get/keep a man with natural hair.

Dear FbN:

As you begin your blog, I want to go ahead and put this out there and state what I consider to be the single transitioning girls biggest concern: "Am I gonna be able to get a man with natural hair?"

I ask that those women who 1. may already be natural, 2. have a man supporting their quest already, or 3. don't care what others think of them in any aspect of life, not to judge and write this off as a shallow question that we need to "get over". This is a valid concern many women have because of the pressures that have been put on us to look a certain way. We have been programmed to think that guys like hair they can "run their fingers through"; the kind that blows with the wind! First, let's be reminded this is not just an issue Black women face. Women of all races and in other countries around the world hold stock in having straight and silky hair. Countless commercials and products make women of all races feel their natural curl is not beautiful and luxurious. Sarah Jessica Parker even forgoes the natural curl all of us SATC lovers know she has, to advertise hair care products with a silky straight mane. I say all of that to say that the pressure is even greater than some may think. Many women across the board just don't embrace their natural curl and will spend tons of money, time, and energy to cover up what's naturally there. 

So, do men really care about a women's hair as much as we think they do? Well, I can say the one word answer to that is NO...BUT many men do care about the way the woman handles the hair. What's her attitude?  Is she still seen as graceful and regal? Does she look well kept? (yea, I said it, because there are some ignorant men and women that associate some natural styles with not caring about appearance). I had to begin to ask myself "do I want a man who can't see me in my natural state as being beautiful?" No! We all deserve a man that will be our greatest encourager in this quest. Now don't get me wrong, we all gotta "keep it tight" and look fierce at all times! I'm just saying we must redefine what that means and realize that many real men out there love us as a whole being, natural hair and all. 

Tracy

What do you think Readers of FbN?  Is it possible to get and keep a man with natural hair?  We have our opinions (which we will share in the comments section) but we want to hear from you.

Throwbacks...

Us Relaxed

Miss G Chic

Yeah yeah yeah. I know I jumped right in on a rant without introducing myself. So here goes...

I am G. I became interested in going natural when Toots told me I could. LOL. We had discussed it and always said we had to wait till we had a ring on it in case we had some bad hair days. So randomly while getting a sew-in in July 09, (8 weeks after my last relaxer) I decided that I was gonna give being natural a try. Well I guess it really wasn't random. Almost everyone I know has stopped getting relaxers and I seemed to be the only person in the salon with one. So why was I paying $80 for a relaxer and all the other girls were getting blown out and flat ironed for $40 achieving the same results? Anywho, here we are 7 months and 2 weaves later. My transition has been pretty easy. But now I'm challenging myself to a month of no salon and no heat. So I'm sure I'll be trying all kinds of things. Let's Go.

Unbeweavable Oct 09

Twist Out Dec 09

Dry Braid Out Jan 10

Allow me to Introduce Myself...

My name is Toots..TO to the OT(s)...LOL, let me stop.  After much talk, Miss G Chic and I finally went through with starting a blog for us naturals.  I know there are plenty of other natural hair blogs and websites, but we wanted a forum that would allow us to share our journey with others and serve as motivation for us to keep it Naturally Fierce.  I'm sure G Chic will soon bless us with her own introduction of sorts, but let me go ahead and get mine out the way.

So the obvious first question would be, 'how long have you been natural?'..Well, that's an answer that I don't have an exact date for.  I got my last relaxer at the beginning of September 2008, so I've been natural for about 15 months.  Go me!  I haven't had to do a Big Chop (BC) or anything, as I've been trimming my relaxed hair off as the natural hair has been coming in.  I'd say I'm 97% natural.  I've begged my stylist to cut the ends to be sure but she says that it is all natural...so yeah.  Thankfully, I never had any problems with breakage or other things that so many other naturals complain about.  Throughout the past year or so, I've worn weaves and braids to help with the transition process.  I've also had my hair straightened and done other natural styles such as braid outs, flat twists, and sets using Curlformers.  I've enjoyed the ride and now I'm wondering why I didn't do it sooner?  I've posted a few pics taken over the past year and a half so you can see what I'm working with...but I have to admit, I haven't been the best at that.  I'm sure having this blog will force me to be better though.

Relaxed Sept 2008

Weaved up

Braids

Set Using Curlformers

Fresh Press- Holidays '09

I'm excited about what's to come.  Hope you enjoy the ride!

Can I Live

Question. How do you keep it sexy and keep your hair on point at the same time?

I've decided to Co-Wash  and style on Sundays and I choose to let the style air dry. So today I'm at the crib with the boo and I get the "you've had that head wrap on all day." Uh. What do you want me to say sir. It's either walk around with my satin cap on or rock my braids and rods looking like Ceily. I thought I was giving you the better of the two. I will sacrifice a day of satin cap for a week of fierceness.

So what are other ladies doing? Do other women get similar comments from men? I considered getting a Meagan Good wig for nights when I do overnight styling but then my hair will never dry. But men cant be that stupid can they? I mean I cant hop up out the bed looking as fly as I do without a head wrap. But then again, Bey said Jay wants her to be on point to handle her biz in the bathroom. So maybe this just comes with the territory.